Give to Get: How Successful People Network with Each Other

5 Ways to Grow Your Network by Giving

Welcome to Hu Knows! Twice a month, I share practical, actionable career advice from my experiences working in Wall Street and Silicon Valley.

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(This is part 4 of a 4-part series of newsletters on Effective Networking.)

In my last 3 newsletters, we discussed the Golden Rule of networking — that it is a two-way street — and previewed four powerful techniques for building your network, depending on your audience:

1. ✅ Engage your existing network (1st-degree connections)

2. ✅ Ask for a warm intro (2nd-degree connections)

3. ✅ Send a personalized cold email (3rd+ degree connections)

4. Offer to help others (All connections)

Although the first 3 techniques are about asking others for help, today’s newsletter discusses the most powerful technique of all: helping others first.

“Outbound” vs. “Inbound” Networking

There’s nothing wrong with asking for help. In fact, no successful person would be where they are today without it! However, people’s time and generosity are limited, and cold emails / intro requests can only scale so far. These “outbound networking” techniques require others to spend resources (time, money, or social capital) on your behalf, and can backfire if your relationship is weak or if your request is framed incorrectly.

On the other hand, giving is well-received by anyone, no matter how strong or weak your relationship is. When you give without expecting to receive anything in return, you build more authentic and long-lasting relationships, enhance your personal brand, and increase the chances that others will reciprocate in the future. As your reputation grows, giving becomes a channel for “inbound networking,” where people start reaching out and giving to you instead of the other way around. You’ll be amazed at the abundance that comes back to you!

Everybody has something to offer

The first time I learned about “networking” in college, I reacted with discomfort and distrust. It seemed like a selfish activity to partake in, and I was concerned about wasting people’s time since I believed I couldn’t offer them anything in return. After all, why would anyone want to help a young and inexperienced college student just starting out in her career?

Now that I’ve been on the other side, I realize this couldn’t be further from the truth. People are eager to help students and recent grads, if not from the understanding that they’ve been in your shoes before, then for the appreciation, recognition, or satisfaction of seeing you succeed. And you (yes, you!) have something to offer others, even if it isn’t as obvious as money, job referrals or leads.

Here are 5 ways you can help others right now:

1. Give thanks

As a mentor, it can be disappointing to spend my time helping someone only to never hear from them again. Not only am I curious what happened after our interaction, you’ve missed an opportunity to build a longer-term relationship with someone who has already indicated a willingness to help you in the past.

This is why it’s so important to send thank you notes and follow up with your old managers, mentors and peers. No matter how long ago you last interacted, I guarantee that they’ll appreciate hearing what you’re up to and how they have helped (and can continue to help) you on your journey.

2. Give your support and attention

In today’s work-from-home world, staying connected is more important than ever. With fewer chances for “water-cooler conversations” and the spontaneous everyday interactions that lubricate social bonds, virtual communication is becoming critical to the fabric of our society.

Make an intentional effort to support and engage with others online, whether they’re inside or outside of your network:

• Did someone get a new job or take the next big step in their education or career? Congratulate them on LinkedIn (and even better, include a personalized message).

• Did someone post content that really resonated with you? Like, comment and share their post, mentioning them by name and specifically pointing out what in the post stood out to you.

• Did someone say something at a panel or conference that really inspired you? Use that as a talking point in your outreach to them or post about your reflections from the event on LinkedIn and tag them. This is a great way of showing your support while giving both of you additional visibility and reach.

If you do meet via Zoom, on the phone or in-person, give your full attention to the other person and practice active listening:

3. Give your time and expertise

People are attracted to generosity. Have a cause that you’re passionate about? Volunteer or take on leadership roles in extracurricular clubs to meet like-minded people in a collaborative setting.

Trying to break into a new industry? Join professional organizations or online communities and add value by organizing events or sharing your expertise with others. Having a shared association gives you a great reason to reach out to others and can help you reach potential future peers / colleagues as well as industry veterans.

4. Give your networks

Even if you don’t know of any job openings, information, or leads that your contact is interested in, you most likely know someone who does. Use your existing relationships to your advantage by offering to make introductions to connect the people in your network. However, make sure you use the double-opt-in method so you don’t accidentally loop someone into an intro email without their permission.

Another tip is to start a podcast, blog or event and invite people that you admire to interview or be panel speakers. Most people won’t turn down an invitation to share their story and increase their own reach, and you’ll be able to provide value to your own network by amplifying their knowledge and wisdom to a larger audience.

5. Give your knowledge

If you can’t pay it back, pay it forward. One great strategy for growing and engaging with your network is to create valuable content on LinkedIn or other platforms. This can be as simple as sharing your story and any insights you’ve learned along the way that may be helpful for others. Some of the most viral posts on LinkedIn are about authentic, vulnerable moments and challenges that people have overcome. As Laura Huang, the author of Edge, says:

Success is rarely just about the quality of our ideas, credentials, skills, or effort. Instead, achieving success hinges on how well we shape others' perceptions — of our strengths, certainly, but also our flaws. It's about creating our own edge by confronting the factors that seem like shortcomings and turning them into assets that make others take notice.

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Until next time,

Kristina